Yesterday my husband came through the door with a few bags of groceries. In one of the bags were a couple boxes of Capri Suns.
I may have lost the battle of the Lucky Charms, but I’m not backing down on this one. I’m in a full-blown boycott of the drink pouches. They are bad news and I refuse to let them stay. Before the bag can be set down on the kitchen counter, I redirect it to the garage. From there, it will be given to another, more tolerant family.
There’s the obvious reason I hate Capri Suns: no nutritional merit. The first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup. That alone is so wrong. Yet there’s more.
We have two teenagers, a tween, and a nine year old. At this point, I’m ready to again associate the words Capri and sun with a summer day on an island off the coast of Italy, not a sugary drink in an aluminum laminate pouch.
When you’re little, a Capri Sun lasts a long time, but each one contains just six ounces. The same amount a baby drinks from a small bottle. Or, in grown up terms, the entire contents of a Capri Sun is the equivalent of four shots. And that’s not counting the two ounces you lose when puncturing the pouch and juice squirts out the top of the straw. Hardly a thirst buster on a scorcher of a day. My oldest is 6 feet tall; he empties a Capri Sun in one sucking, squeezing motion. He can easily empty three or four in a sitting.
I find crumpled, Capri Sun carcasses in the back yard and it drives me nuts. Not only that, but the kids who have the coordination and concentration to pierce the spear-end of the yellow straw into the designated area, can’t seem to perform the easiest part – throwing the plastic straw wrapper into the trash. Even if the container makes it into the trash, the straw wrappers never do.
Another problem with Capri Suns are the flavors. I understand Strawberry Kiwi, but Pacific Cooler, Coastal Cooler, Splash Cooler and Mountain Cooler? Really? Can anyone explain how one of those flavors differs from the other?
I’m forever done with Capri Suns. I say no to gimmicky drinks. No to pouches, wrappers, and straws. No to drinking corn syrup with a splash of “real fruit juice.”
I say yes to the simplicity of a glass of water, a healthy and economical choice. I say yes to saving money for a trip to Italy and basking in Capri’s real sun.
