We’re taught from an early age that it’s all about winning. We learn to compete, to be separate, and follow the rules.
That concept is wrong.
I ran a 5K race last weekend and it was fun. I placed second for my age group. Don’t be too impressed—it was only a small race. Of course that felt good and I was proud of myself, but that feeling is short lived. That is the ego speaking. What truly filled my heart was the money going to charity and seeing people run who had never run before and how proud they were of themselves.
Coming from the heart and soul, life is so much more rewarding yet not something we are often taught by society.
Exploring the difference between ego and heart, you will see how the soul truly brings a long-term sense of contentment and joy while ego is about a short-term feeling of elation or happiness.
Ego is all about serving the self while the heart or soul is about the greater good. We live in a society that rewards us for outward success, be it education, financial success, or our looks. That does not mean there is not a payoff for coming from our authentic selves, nor does it mean we can never come from ego or think from the external. That is part of being human, but it is about keeping this part of ourselves in check.
When people are too focused on the external and the ego, they often feel something is lacking. I see on occasion that people who seem to have it all – the looks, the money, the status – come from this place of never having enough and often searching for more.
To alleviate this deep feeling of emptiness, people can be led to the abuse of alcohol, drugs, sex, over work or excessive exercise.
So how do we live from the heart and soul? Here are a few ideas from some well-known names:
- Give up the need to be right. “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” – Wayne Dyer.
- Give up the need for control. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou.
- Give up looking at others as the problem. “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” – Robert Anthony
- Give up negative self-talk. “Every waking moment we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.” – John Lembo.
- Give up limited beliefs. “A belief is not an idea held by the mind; it is an idea that holds the mind.” – Elly Roselle.
- Give up complaining and criticizing. “Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.” – Eckhart Tolle.
- Give up trying to impress others. “I think everyone is most confident when they are just being themselves and not trying to impress others.” – Bethany Mota.
- Give up trying to resist change. “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Bernard Shaw.
- Give up coming from fear. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
- Give up living your life to other’s expectations. “We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests.” – Sheryl Sandberg.
Live with your heart and soul, keep your ego in check and you will find true contentment, true joy and true love.
Contact Dr. Shelly Zavala at DrZavala@mac.com or DrZavala.com.
